Doug easily trounced Patrick in the first round. Patrick is undoubtedly a likable guy, and maybe it's unfair to compare a supporting character with a lead. But what came through loud and clear in our discussion was that Doug was the better character. We can relate to many of Doug's struggles since many of us have experienced them ourselves. And Kurt and I being right around the same age as Doug during the run of the show didn't hurt his chances, either. With the combined power of Quail Man, Durango, and Smash Adams, Doug easily Beets Patrick.
Despite our love for wacky niche characters, Angelica took the win over Powdered Toast Man. Don't get us wrong, we love PTM. He easily made the bracket to begin with. But in any kind of serious analysis, PTM just doesn't stack up to a fully developed character like Angelica. With Angelica, you know exactly where she stands on EVERYTHING. When you take away PTM's flight-powering farts and imminently cling-to-able buttocks, what is left? Not much. I suppose PTM is a kind of blank slate, there for each of us to project our own hopes and fears onto. In a way, we are all Powdered Toast Man. But in another more relevant way, Angelica is the winner.
And now, the disagreements.
Ren vs. Stimpy
We knew immediately that Ren vs. Stimpy would easily be the most contentious of all the First Round battles. We knew that this debate would likely leave the world's major cities devastated, the oceans dry, and the skies blackened. Despite the risks to life on Earth, we pushed on.
In one corner: me and Ren. I argued that Ren more represents the heart of the show than Stimpy; that if you had to remove one character, it would be easier to replace Stimpy than Ren.
Kurt saw things differently, instead attributing to Stimpy greater character depth and range of emotions. Ren, Kurt argued, has two modes: normal and angry. Stimpy, on the other hand, wears his heart on his sleeve and is unashamed to show his emotions. Kurt also pointed out that Stimpy is voiced by none other than voice acting legend Billy West, who also voiced Doug and countless others.
To settle this, we called on Kurt's impartial friend, Brian.
Here's his ruling:
When it comes to Nick cartoons, this is like Randy Savage v. Hulk Hogan. In a lot of ways R&S made Nick toons. A completely unique, original and decidedly adult oriented show, kids watched a meth addicted chihuahua and a functionally retarded cat navigate episodes mixed with off color humor, slapstick and vulgarity. But who is the better character? Yes "Happy Happy Joy Joy" is annoying, and yes Stimpy is usually just a lovable idiot designed to get Ren angry. But that's all Ren ever is - angry. Contrary to some, Stimpy IS ACTUALLY the show. He drove anything resembling a plot, he was the one kids could relate to and laugh with, and being voiced by Billy West puts him over the top.
Winner: Ren is a good character, and his slaps show technical proficiency. But like The Macho Man before him (R.I.P.), he must play second fiddle to his stupid but wildly popular partner, his farting Hulk Hogan, STIMPY!
So Stimpy pulls ahead in the end and secures the W. Ren will see you in hell, Brian.
Rocko vs. Skeeter
I'm a Skeeter fan. Have been for years. He's a loyal friend to Doug and he's a little eccentric without being overly annoying, so long as honking doesn't bug you. I argued that Skeeter's loyalty and friendliness to Doug warranted the win. When Doug is the "new kid" in town, Skeeter takes it upon himself to befriend him and help him integrate into his new home.
I am also a fan of Rocko's Modern Life. However, I think it was a show that succeeded despite its main character, not because of it. To be honest, Rocko is probably the least interesting character of the whole show. RML was elevated by its supporting characters. For this reason, I gave Skeeter the edge.
Kurt, however, could not forgive Skeeter for the "Silver Skeeter" episode of Doug, which I kind of remember. He says, and I take his word on this, this episode represents everything that is wrong with comics. That's some heavy shit. In any case, Kurt threw his support behind Rocko and the judge-off was on.
Again, we turned to Brian. Here's his ruling:
Argument: Rocko's Modern Life had better supporting characters like Heffer, Mr. & Mrs. Bighead and Peaches, along with more sophisticated humor. Doug had better stories and a more memorable theme, but unfortunately gave us Disney's Doug and Doug's First Movie. When it comes to Rocko or Skeeter, its Skeeter by a mile. While Rocko's name in the title suggests he is the star, this is false. His show is about his supporting cast and the situations they face. Rocko is the straight man, so quiet and average he disappears on his own cartoon. Skeeter is Doug's best "human" friend, always there for him no matter what. He was Doug's first friend, and assuming Porkchop is a normal dog, he will probably be Doug's last friend too. Plus he's a good wingman and knows Patty Mayonnaise is off limits.
Winner: SKEETER and it's not even close.
So Skeeter honks past Rocko and goes onto the next round. Sorry, Rocko!
